Monday, 23 January 2012

Arsenal vs Manchester United Player Ratings

Wojciech Szczesny – Produced a fine display after the two shaky performances that preceded this game. Was at hand to help prevent goals from a Nani strike at his near post which was creeping in. Had no chance with the goals he conceded. 7.5/10

Johan Djourou - Where do I start? Truly awful from the word go. Looked to have lost his legs by the 30 minute mark and was never really comfortable. Failed to close down Giggs for the opening goal and was often caught out of position. Was clearly targeted by the opposition. So poor Wenger had to take him out of the line of fire. 2/10

Per Mertesacker – Felt he had a good game and despite his pace managed to make a crucial interception and deny a certain goal. Was prominent in the air in the first half and played an important role at hanging in when thing were tough. 7/10

Laurent Koscienly – Another impressive performance, highlighting his new found importance to the team. Was able to read the ball well and outmuscle and outpace the opposition. Even had a hand in the goal as he pressed up high, won the ball and distributed quickly. 8/10

Thomas Vermaelen – Clearly still carrying an injury. Was not at his best and was even jointly culpable for the opener. Struggled positionally at times but was always trying his best. Not his best game by any stretch of the imagination. 6/10

Alexandre Song – Infinitely better than his last outing against Swansea. Guarded the defence well and filled in when necessary. An unadventurous performance but this meant it was disciplined and actually what was required of him. 7/10

Thomas Rosicky – Tried his best in a role he is not overly comfortable with. Moved the ball around nicely when Arsenal were in possession and teed up Van Persie nicely. Had a hand in the goal but was anonymous for large parts of the game as well. 6/10

Aaron Ramsey – Seemed to drift in and out of the game and lost the ball on a number of occasions. Wasn’t afraid to shoot from distance but rarely did he look threatening. Had a decent attempt but unfortunately nothing came of it. 5.5/10

Theo Walcott – Was everything his younger counterpart wasn’t. Was set up in a decent position and fluffed his shot and his passing was atrocious, particularly when he was passing to Chamberlain. (Interesting) Yesterday highlighted some very real technical flaws in his game. Truly awful. 3/10

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain – Awesome. As far as full debuts go, this was up there. A great assist and a constant thorn in the United team. Looked to be strong, quick, skilful and direct. Was everything Walcott should be. Provided an outlet and looked the most likely to make something happen in the attacking third. 8.5/10

Robin Van Persie – Could have had a hat-trick and missed a chance I would have bet my house on him scoring but still bought us back into the game with a stunning effort. He maintains his excellent record and has carried over his form into the new year. 7.5/10

Does Arsene still know best?

Evening all,

As the dust settles and the fallout continues from yesterday’s game, I find myself in a weird place. I am filled with disappointment yet relief; I am in some ways proud of the team and at the same time left frustrated by them. Football is a funny game and it never ceases to amaze but yesterday at times it was flabbergasting. The game had the good, the bad and the ugly of Arsenal Football Club yesterday.

We started off well and seemed to control the game for the first 10 to 15 minutes with some slick passing and movement. Chamberlain impressed early on with some great direct and skilful play and had the upper hand against a world class left back in the early exchanges. Following an injury to Phil Jones, where the game was broken up, Manchester United composed themselves and began to settle. It took them some time to get going but they had a clear plan to exploit our weakness and exploit it they did.

Throughout the remaining 70 minutes, balls were sprayed at our right back with precision, consistency and in abundance which both Evra and Nani took delight in. They exposed and capitalised on our weakest link and effectively cost us the game. So much was his discomfort, he had to be replaced by the 18 year old, Yennaris at half time.

The second half was a different story and I felt that we had for the most part played well and done enough to get something out of the game. In fact when we scored the equaliser, it felt like there was only one team that could possibly win it the way the match was panning out.

That was, until the manager, inexplicably to some, decided to take off our most effective player and replace him with someone who is not everyone’s cup of tea at the moment. Now here is where the aforementioned ugliness took place. Following the announcement of Chamberlains departure many fans erupted into choruses of boos which although understandable, it was nonetheless a little embarrassing and I don’t think it helped the team at all.

Now there are various rumours and theories ranging from tiredness, to Chamberlain asking to come off, apparent cramps/injuries to just Wenger lost the plot and decided to take him off.

I am not going to delve into any of these issues for many reasons but most importantly because it is pointless. The decision was made and whatever the reason, it is clear that it had a negative impact to us which contributed to us losing the game.

I understand the reason for the response but it left me quite sad yesterday. Here is a man, Wenger, who not only changed Arsenal Football Club for the better but all of English football. I think it would not be too controversial to say that the evolution of English football has been exponentially sped up by Wenger and he has arguably had the biggest influence on English football in modern times.

That is not to diminish the importance of people like Sir Alex Ferguson, but only to highlight the dramatic effect Wenger has had on diet, training methods, technology and footballing philosophy in the English game. To see this man get booed at a level I haven’t seen at any club over an in game decision, no matter how bad a decision is something that is deeply disappointing. Please don’t misunderstand me though, I completely sympathise and empathise with the supporters that booed and I myself was screaming obscenities.

I would like to think Wenger, when he left would have been able to leave on his terms, with his head held high and that all supporters would hail him as a true legend. Whilst there is no doubt that he is clearly already a legend I fear yesterday’s booing will have far reaching consequences beyond that of just the failure yesterday. From my knowledge on Wenger, I would predict that he would be immeasurably offended and upset by the booing and this could have a bearing on his future, not because of the booing but because of the line that has been drawn. There are now clearly large factions of the fans that are dissatisfied and there is no covering it up.

It has been clear for some time that there is a growing feeling of discontent amongst fans at the handling of the club. The club who have been mismanaged for a while now on many different levels, whether it be recruitment, contract renewals, the commercial side of things or just the Public Relations. This however, is the first time it was Wenger getting booed by the majority of the fans and that over a decision in game. Even Van Persie could not believe the decision and showed dissent towards Wenger. Something the media have been quick to highlight.

All of the discontent at everything that has gone on at the club in recent years manifested itself in the supporters hitting out at a manager and that is something you could have never imagined not too long ago.

The worst part of the whole incident for me though is none of the above. It is the fact that it detracts from the main point: we lost another game and are five points behind Chelsea. We find ourselves in a position where it is more likely than not that we will miss out on Champions League football.  

I was concerned a few days ago that history might repeat itself and that we were in line for a bad loss but thankfully I was very wrong and the team a few players aside performed admirably in parts. It is a shame that it wasn’t consistent throughout the team and we still find ourselves pointless in the league this calendar year.

The main job of the manager is not to now answer questions about whatever madness is going on around him but to pick up the players he has and ensures that, regardless of who plays in what position, they win.

It’s plain and simple, every game is a must win and I expect every player to demonstrate that attitude. If they don’t then Wenger has not done the job that he now needs to do.

Until next time.


Sunday, 22 January 2012

Arsenal Team News: Vermaelan and Chamberlain start!!!

Hey all,

Just a very quick post as drinking beer and getting ready to watch the match.

The atmosphere is a bit nervy but the team, supporters and everyone around the club have been given a huge lift with the news that Thomas Vermaelan is fit enough to regain a place in the starting line up. This should add some much needed solidity, organisation and leadership to the Arsenal defence.

Arsenal however are definately without club record scorer Thierry Henry (feels weird saying that) as he has failed to recover from a calf strain in time to replace Andrei Arshavin. However, the young and exciting winger, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has been given a much deserved place in the starting XI which will provide another fast and explosive outlet on the flanks.

Wenger has spoken about a shift in the way Arsenal play now, relying on the pace of the two wingers. This will certainly help balance the game today as Manchester United will have to be wary of the pace Arsenal can break with.

The starting XI will be

Djourou                             Mertesacker                 Koscielny                  Vermaelen   

                                        Ramsey             Song                  Rosicky

Walcott                                               Van Persie                                    The Ox

All the players will have to be at their best and most importantly concentrate for the entirety of the match, ensuring individual errors are kept at a minimum. They must work their arses off and if they cannot motivate themselves for such an important game then we may as well pack it in now.

Despite my doom and gloom yesterday, I am as always excited on another crucial match day and I hope the boys give it everything they can to close the gap to just two points for fourth place.



Saturday, 21 January 2012

Arsenal vs Manchester United Preview: Injury updates and team news!

Morning all,

As we approach the United game the news gets worse and therefore my mood is dampening with each coming hour. If our form wasn’t enough of a concern going into the match, the pre match news has been littered with bomb shell after bomb shell of bad news for us.

First there was the news that Thierry had strained his calf in training, then we were told that Vermaelan might not actually make it and that the chance was slim and finally the cog that has turned the Arsenal machine; Mikel Arteta was ruled out with no uncertain terms.

A lot of the pre match hype/press talk or whatever you would like to call it has, for obvious reasons centred around the mauling provided to us by the old adversary. A lot of the talk from all sides has been not to write Arsenal off and there will be no repeat of the Old Trafford result, whilst I am in agreement to some extent, I am, at the same time very concerned with the similarities between the build up to the two games. In fact many are saying that the build up going into this game sees us in worse shape.

On the one hand we have the ridiculous calls for the firing of Arsene Wenger, we have 10 injuries in key areas of the pitch which leaves our defence decimated and our attack and midfield short of options, we are missing Gervinho and some balding attempt at a footballer due to the ACN thus reducing our options further. Essentially we are fucked. The team that played that day actually had two specialist left backs, if you can bring yourself to call Traore one. He is after all the steaming pile of turd (with lots of fleas, and maybe a touch of sweet corn) that was a key part of Man Uniteds attacking plan.


Jenkinson,                               Djourou,          Koscielny,                               Traore,

Coquelin,         Ramsey,         Rosicky

Walcott,                                              Van Persie,                                          Arshavin

This was the team that got annihilated and if we line up tomorrows likely XI, we will see we are not far improved. If anything we might be in worse shape given the current form we find ourselves in.

At least before the United game there was some positives in beating Udinese. At the moment we are getting outplayed by some of the worst teams the league has to offer so one can only imagine what might happen tomorrow.

I cannot remember the last time I wrote such a bleak pre match post ever but I genuinely fear the worst. I, of course would happily be proved wrong and have no perverse hopes like some crazy fans I have seen and heard on Twitter hoping we lose so there is more pressure on Wenger. I think if we have a good day and a bit of luck we are more than capable of beating them. In fact any team is capable of beating anyone so would not be overly surprised to see us win but at the same time I am concerned with the options available and the apparent susceptibility of the defence to get scared under pressure.

Djourou,                      Mertesacker,                Koscielny,                               Miquel,

Song,              Ramsey,          Rosicky

Walcott,                                              Van Persie,                                          Arshavin

This is the team most likely to play with Thierry facing a late fitness test the only possible difference but even that is unlikely. What I would like to see is Oxlade-Chamberlain given the opportunity to impress in place of the ever so frustrating Arshavin. This would provide us with frightening pace up top and the outlet on either side to create some very swift breaks.

Either way, with that front three as well as the skill in midfield you would, at a minimum expect the team to be competitive and at best win the game. I feel our passing game has been hampered by teams coming at us and pressing higher up the pitch so we need to counter this as it is certainly going to be Manchester United’s approach.

I hope my bleakest and most negative post yet is not misconstrued for lost faith. I love Arsenal, I love Wenger and I still will after the game regardless of result. That doesn’t mean logic and honest opinions cannot be aired. I have stated my very real concerns as a fan and whilst they are only fears, I also hold great hope. I dream of a Van Persie double and a Henry goal at the end to seal the deal which CAN happen.

With that I shall leave you to cure your hang over’s and I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Up the arse!


Monday, 16 January 2012

Swansea Expose Arsenal Shortcomings - Champions League Now Mission Impossible?

Evening all,

It has taken me quite some time to recover from the debacle of yesterday and to be perfectly honest I cannot honestly say I am completely over the result. My emotions have ranged from angry to upset and from indignant to depressed.

I would like to say that this was a complete shock to me but in truth I half expected it. I genuinely felt that this would be a struggle and it turned out that way. It wasn’t as though the game was one where we deserved anything out of it. We can begrudge decisions all we want but we just weren’t good enough by any measure.

We were awful on the night and got exactly what we deserved. Whilst I was angry, I was shocked to see vast numbers of people calling for the firing of Arsene Wenger. Whilst I don’t think he should be impervious to criticism the sheer ridiculousness of the comments does not warrant further discussion.

I do however feel that we are still very much a work in progress and there is lots and lots to do, perhaps more than we thought. It was clear that the team needed strengthening well before this second dip in form; people have been calling for this for the entire season but the need was masked to some extent by the run of form we were on.

The result and performance should come as no surprise to anyone who has been watching us over the past few weeks as we have struggled in all the games we have played in over the last 3 weeks+. We have scraped some results which have been important but have struggled to really stamp our authority on any game since the win at Wigan at the beginning of December. Ironically, our best performance came in the away defeat to Man City which sums up our performances recently.

In our last six premiership games we have lost three, drawn one and won two. The mathematicians amongst you have probably worked out that is only 7 points from a possible 18. This, against opposition we would be expecting to beat except from Man City so let’s say 7 points from 15. We dropped 8 points against Wolves, Fulham and Swansea. Those 8 points would place us firmly in the top four, only 2 points behind Tottenham and four behind City.

Clearly this has cost us dearly in our race to secure Champions League but how much has it cost us and are we going to be able to get to the invaluable fourth spot this season? I, for the first time this season am having doubts and can honestly see us struggling for the rest of the season unless something is done about it and quickly. The worst thing is; I know we are not going to do anything about it. I don’t know if it stubbornness or if it is a case of something we do not know about but we have money so going for a player that can change games is inexcusable. We needed the player before Fabregas and Nasri left and whilst I feel we have replaced Nasri, Fabregas’ replacement has essentially been Ramsey. Whilst I like him and I think he has great potential, judging by recent performances it seems like too much too soon for the lad.

So we need a replacement for one of the best players in the world and another world class attacking option. We have the way but surprisingly not the will. I understand reluctance to spend in January but I think the reluctance will cost us more in the long term due to the size of the stakes.

Of course we have half the world’s defenders out and arguably our best midfielder to come back so things will most certainly improve but to have lost 7 games at this stage of the season it is clear that it will take something special to secure Champions League football.

Without Champions League football we have seen how Liverpool have struggled to get back to a position I am sure all their fans rightfully think they should hold. And that is with significant investment.

I shall leave you with that sad and depressing thought.

Good day to you!


Sunday, 15 January 2012

Arteta out!?! Update Knee Injury rules out Arteta

Morning all,

Just a very quick post today as I posted a fairly comprehensive preview yesterday but rumours are spreading like wildfire that Mikel Arteta will be out as he has been struck by the mysterious bug that Mertesacker and Rosicky have.

Update: It seems as though Arteta has definately been ruled out but it may be a knee injury not the virus that is ruling him out

This is yet to be confirmed by anything I can see so I suppose you have to take it with a pinch of salt but the importance of Arteta cannot be underestimated. He is a vital cog in the Arsenal machine at the moment and he is very important in our meteoric rise following our appalling start.

I hope it is not true but it seems as though Rosicky (if fit himself) or Benayoun may get the nod to fill in. It is a shame as it is a completely different role to the one either would be comfortable in and perhaps Ramsey might be better suited but with Coquelin out and Frimpong out on loan it seems we may struggle for a like for like replacement tactically.

This could result in the balance we have had recently shifting to a more attacking set up, which if it works would be great to watch but if not could leave us more exposed than normal.

Either way it is important we go out there and put in any kind of performance that gets the big three points. With Frimpong doing his best to kick holes in Tottenham players yesterday and contributing to a fabulous 2-points-lost for the scum, we must capitalise today. It is huge for us today and we must win.

Have a good day and come on you gunners!


Saturday, 14 January 2012

Arsenal vs Swansea preview: Team news, injury updates, transfer rumours dispelled and much more!

Morning all,

With the weekend upon us, I find myself in a rare situation these days. I have no work to do and have time on my hands. Whilst it is a blessing, I do feel a little eerie. I find myself unsure on what to do so I thought I would impart some nonsense on to my dwindling readers.

I am sure everyone is pretty sick to death with “that goal” on “that night”, but I certainly am not. I have never, in my life felt so happy and that is a strange, strange thing given the relative unimportance of the tie. I found myself in a similar euphoric state to the one I was in when we beat Barcelona at home last season. It was similar in ways, in terms of atmosphere and the party mood that went with it. I went to bed still unable to wipe the smile that had fixated itself on my face from the moment King Thierry took to the field and when I woke up; it was still there.

I have watched the goal countless times and one thing is clear; he still has that little special something. Now don’t get me wrong; I do not think that this goal represents a return to the prolific marksman of yesteryear, I am merely taking delight in a very special moment; one that will remain with me until everything is very wrinkly.

I do not expect him to start against Swansea tomorrow but I am 100% sure that Arsene Wenger is very, very tempted indeed. In fact his words suggest he may be leaning toward the prospect of him starting given the constant rhetoric and affirmations of Robin and Thierry being able to play together. Also added in the conference was that Henry was fit to start but not complete a game. I personally would rather Chamberlain given another opportunity in the left wing role. I more than expect he wont even feature and the little Russian will be given the nod to continue the frustration for all Arsenal fans everywhere.

For all the class Thierry showed, there was an equal measure of petulance and anger and whilst everyone is talking up the impact of his arrival, I wonder if whether when the pressures on and a misplaced pass from Ramsey/Song might result in a telling off, if they still agree. Again, do not get me wrong I am delighted he’s back and we certainly need him for the next two months given our lack of attacking options. I just feel that a team that has gelled so wonderfully together over the past few months, might be damaged slightly if Henry is at his worst.

But of course nobody wants to think about that, least of all me when instead I can just watch his 227th goal for Arsenal over and over again.

In other team news it seems as though, in addition to the mammoth list of full backs out; Sagna, Jenkinson, Gibbs and Santos, we can now add a makeshift left back in Coquelin who is expected to be out between 3 to 4 weeks. I really feel for the lad as he was starting to establish himself as quite the utility player as he never really looked out of sorts, regardless of where he played. We also are likely to be missing Vermaelan although the good news there is, he should be back for the United game. Per Mertesacker and Rosicky are both doubts as were out due to illness and haven’t trained with the squad until today, so it will be a case of match fitness. I expect Mertesacker will have to do something to get fit as I can’t bare to watch Squilacci for another 90 minutes ever again. And in addition we have Wilshire and Diaby out through lengthy injuries and of course the African Cup of Nations means we will be without Gervinho and some other shit footballer with really bad hair.

So with 12 potential first team absences we head into a very tough fixture with a team I have been particularly impressed with. I won’t call them condescending things like Arsenal Lite because like I just said, it’s condescending but I will say they have a similar appetite for good football. In the past this would be exactly the game I would be confident of winning. A lower opposition who wants to try to out pass us is bound to get a hammering but I no longer feel this way, mainly because we have changed the way we play slightly. In fact the last team that didn’t sit back and came at us playing positive football, we lost and were pegged back for an entire half. I am of course talking about Fulham here and whilst I appreciate other factors such as shit referees and the rest of it, our second half performance did expose that we still are uncomfortable being pressed high up the pitch and when teams have a go at us.

I expect Swansea to be similar to Fulham’s second half performance in many ways and it will be a tough, tough place to go. They are quite measly with giving away goals and that is one department we have struggled recently, failing to score more than 1 goal in our last four outings. Either way it is still a game we should be winning with the ambitions we have so let’s just leave it as it is a must win game.

I expect a team looking a little like this:


Djourou                       Koscienly                           Mertesacker                      Miquel

                                    Arteta                                   Song


Walcott                                                                                                           Arshavin


Come on you Gunners!

In other news Wenger has reiterated that he is not looking to make any major signings this transfer window, denying the mounting rumours that we are in to sign striker Suarez; no not the racist. He has also highlighted that with the lack of quality full backs sitting around twiddling thumbs, *looking at you Mr Bridge* it is increasingly unlikely that a loan signing will be made. Especially as Sagna, Gibbs and Jenkinson appear to be on the road to recovery and will be available sooner rather than later. It is predicted that Gibbs and sagna could be available in the next ten days and those of you rushing to the calender to check the united fixture, fear not "I got your back". Unfortunately being on the 22nd of this month, it would appear that this is likely to be too soon for both and we could be in for a fun second round with United.

Have a lovely weekend and hopefully much to celebrate tomorrow evening!


Monday, 9 January 2012

Arsenal vs Leeds preview: Team news, injury update and King Henry to feature!

Hi all,

Sorry once again for the dearth of material but as usual work has reared its ugly head once more which has largely prohibited me from posting anything in the past week. To be fair I have done very little apart from work, sleep and eat so much so that I am absolutely sick with it. The cure? Arsenal playing on a Monday night.

Whilst it has been a shock to the system not playing on the weekend, I am quite excited at the prospect of the bleakness of my life being saved by my one true love. And to top it off, Thierry Henry, the absolute legend is back and whilst I have been sceptical as to how good he may be I have to admit I am relishing see him come on today.

The team news is strange and it is understood that Arsene Wenger will opt for a strong team this evening with him rejecting the chance to give Theo Walcott a much needed rest. Also, I hope I am wrong in saying this but it seems as though Almunia may get the nod today and start. The injuries remain the same and Robin Van Persie will definitely be rested as well as a suspension to Johan Djourou being the only forced changes.

The team I expect to play tonight will be:


Koscienly                    Miquel                                     Mertesacker                 Coquelin


                                    Benayoun                                Rosicky

Walcott                                               Chamakh                                 Chamberlain

I expect a tough game but with the quality out there on display one would expect that even this Arsenal side who likes to make things so tough for themselves, will be able to win this. With Henry also confirmed to be on the bench one dreams of a fairytale beginning to his second spell in the red and white.

That’ll have to do for today.

Come on you gunners!!!


Monday, 2 January 2012

Fulham Vs Arsenal Preview: Arsenal Team News, Henry to be unveiled, Podolski Rumours Mount and Adam Maher on the Arsenal Radar.

Afternoon all,

Today we find ourselves back into the realms of the crazy world of the transfer windows where stupidity knows no bounds. To be fair it is the second day the transfer window is open but there is already news to report on and rumours to get false hope over. Before we dive into the depths of madness though let’s start with a little preview of the first match of 2012.

So we have only had 3 days since our last game with very little time for rest. Despite that there may be some temptation to play the strongest team available given the long break before the team will next have to play. I would imagine that the next fixture against Leeds provides an opportunity to give a prolonged break to a lot of the first XI. That is the temptation for tonight but it would be unrealistic to expect our strongest team just due to the sheer numbers of fixtures we have had in recent history.

Aside from the usual suspects of Jenkinson, Gibbs, Sagna, Santos, Wilshire and Diaby, we now add the Verminator to the casualty list further depleting an already threadbare defence. It seems then that the main selection dilemma will be in the defensive department of left back and the choice is really between the impressive Coquelin or the solid Miquel. Either one of which does in actuality weaken us but with the apparent return of Gibbs and Sagna approaching Wenger’s reluctance to foray into the Market is perhaps understandable.

So for today the team I expect to line up will be the following.


Djourou                       Mertesacker                             Koscienly                    Coqeulin

                                                Song                            Arteta


Walcott                                                                                                           Gervinho

                                                            Robin Van Persie

Of course this is assuming that RVP is not in the much fabled red zone which he may well be but I would imagine with a near two week rest there should be less risk in playing him in this tough fixture. I would also imagine Benayoun or Rosicky to come in place of Ramsey in the centre of midfield.

I expect us to continue the pressure up the top of the table and win this match but do certainly expect a tough and potentially very frustrating game where we may be banging our heads against two banks of five in the opposition half. I certainly hope we have enough in the tank to get another Premier League win today to start the year in the right fashion and would expect it as well.

Now we move onto the transfer window which is unusually active already at such an early stage. It looks like the imminent signing of Thierry Henry will be completed later today or tomorrow so will be unveiled at some stage soon I guess. I thought it was quite funny and un-Arsenal like, that they published a picture of him in our colours before the transfer was confirmed. It looks like it is all but done so that is at least some good news in terms of attacking reinforcements. I know there are some out there sceptical and I myself have some doubts but cannot argue with the notion that I would much prefer Wenger bringing on Henry instead of Chamakh when we are in search of a goal.

Also in other news, we have Frimpong leaving on loan for the rest of the season to Wolves which can only be seen as a positive from his development’s point of view. I have heard that Mick McCarthy is a big fan and expects him to play an important role at Wolves which will be great.

In other but constant transfer news there are varying rumours regarding the potential signing of Podolski and whilst I would certainly welcome it am fairly sceptical surrounding the news. I have been hearing conflicting reports from he has all but signed and could be announced next week to Wenger has sanctioned a £10m deal to a £16m deal has been agreed. I guess that this will continue for much of the next week but until we start to see some corroboration between sources it is unlikely that a deal is likely.

Apparently we are also going toe to toe for AZ Alkamar starlet Adam Maher according to the Times. This seems like a player we would go for but again is just hearsay at the moment.

Finally in a bit of light relief the biggest twat the game has ever seen is running his mouth again but this time against the Arsenal fans. He tweeted after we spanked them that there was no noise and that there was no atmosphere or so I am led to believe. He is clearly a twat so who cares. I hope his sending off today is a sign of things to come. Have a lovely year Joey Twatmouth.

Come on you Gunners!

Until tomorrow!


Arsenal Season in Review so far

As we have arrived at the mid point of the season I thought we could do a little half time report of sorts, detailing the best and worst of the season so far.

Whilst we have had a start to the season which can only be described as awful, the return to form has ensured that we have finished the year only 9 points adrift of the league leaders and firmly in the top four. An amazing turn around and despite what the media would have you believe, it was not down to just one player.

So without further ado here is my season (so far) in review!

Dubious Honours

Most disappointing

Andrei Arshavin – In spite of an undeniable talent; one thing is abundantly clear. Arshavin has been utter dog shite this season. He has looked disinterested and is having trouble with the simplest of things such as controlling a ball, passing or even looking like he wants to be on the pitch. I suppose it was understandable at first that the boss put so much faith in him given the levels of class he has shown in the past. Of course a four goal haul at Anfield stands out in memory but it pales in comparison to the sustained and prolonged dip in form which we have seen from the little Meerkat. It may be time to rid ourselves of him but suppose January is never the best time to do business and I suspect that he has, in the short term at least a future at Arsenal Football Cub.

Most useless

Marouane Chamakh – This was a really tough one this year, we have had well below subpar performances from two players in particular but in my opinion Marouane Chamakh has been the most useless player to play in the league this year. He has never looked threatening and if anything has seemed a hindrance to our cause to score when introduced. If our other striker, Van Persie has had a year to remember, Chamakh has had anything but. He has been shocking all year and particularly this season. I know there is a number of reasons behind this but all this just clouds the obvious truth; he has been our most useless player.

Worst Haircut

This category was one of the toughest contested categories in the entire list. We have the outlandish blonde afro from Alex Song or the Mr T esque ensemble sported by Frimpong and never forget the cling on style haircut of our very own Gervinho but the prize for me is still has to go to Bacary Sagna. He chooses to have one of the strangest haircuts the world has ever seen and despite me loving him can’t help but cringe every time I see it. Nor do I want him to change it as it could well be the source of his power. God, I miss him.

Worst commitment

Andrei Arshavin hands down is the laziest cunt on a football pitch period. In spite of an undeniable talent; one thing is abundantly clear. Arshavin has been utter dog shite this season. He has looked disinterested and is having trouble with the simplest of things such as controlling a ball, passing or even looking like he wants to be on the pitch. I suppose it was understandable at first that the boss put so much faith in him given the levels of class he has shown in the past. Of course a four goal haul at Anfield stands out in memory but it pales in comparison to the sustained and prolonged dip in form which we have seen from the little Meerkat. It may be time to rid ourselves of him but suppose January is never the best time to do business and I suspect that he has, in the short term at least a future at Arsenal Football Cub.

Worst moment

Man United 8 – 2 Arsenal is one lowlight which sticks in my mind like no other. I was torn between that defeat and the one against Blackburn, both of which represent the worst our season has had to offer which made us all want to curl up in a corner and commit self harm. I shall just leave it at that and get on to the more cheerful stuff.


Best Defender

Thomas Vermaelan – This I think was one of the most fiercely contested areas of the pitch and surprisingly for the right reasons. Despite an awful defensive start to the season we have seen the meteoric rise of Laurent Koscienly, a solid Mertesacker, a hugely improved Santos and of course, this years winner, Thomas Vermaelan. His absence has only highlighted his importance to the team and he has been impeccable almost every time he has taken to the field.

Best midfielder

Mikel Arteta – Despite the initial pressure that was heaped onto Arteta to be the new Fabregas he has played a completely different role than many people expected him to play and much of our resurgence has been down to the discipline and solidity that Mikel Arteta has provided.  I salute his contribution and also Arsene Wenger for signing a player many doubted would be able to play at the highest level. He has grasped this opportunity so far and I hope he can continue in this form.

Best striker

Robin Van Persie – Well this was tough. With all our attacking options and the goal scoring form they are all in, it was very difficult for me to pick just one. But after much deliberation I had to go with Robin Van Persie. With 21 goals and 6 assists from just 25 games, superlatives are not enough. His importance is unparalleled and he must get a new contract at any costs. Robin we love you. Ahem, sorry may have just got a little carried away.

Most improved

Theo Walcott – I think there have been a few players who have improved but none more so than Walcott in my opinion, this could be in part to his utter shitness in the past though. He has forged a great understanding with Robin Van Persie and had his best run in the Arsenal team since joining the club. This has been reflected by his new found importance to the team and is now seen as the first choice in an attacking set up comprising of Gervinho, Robin Van Persie and Walcott.

Most commitment

Laurent Koscienly – Perhaps unlucky to miss out on most the GoonerVerse best defender award, Laurent Koscienly has been nothing short of sensational this season. He is always putting in 100% and then some and this has led to some stellar performances throughout the season. He has been adaptable and done whatever has been required of him throughout the season which has been a real pleasure to see. To be fair to the whole team, I would say that many players could be taking this award as after the darkest hours of the season it would be impossible to find ourselves back in the top four if the commitment throughout the squad was not top drawer.

Best moment

Chelsea 3-5 ArsenalThis result really marked a turn in Arsenal’s season. Though some have argued Chelsea’s subsequent form suggests that this may have not been the fantastic result it seemed at first, one thing is clear; John Terry fell down like the turd he is and ate grass. He was humiliated and so were Chelsea, a team that have just recently beaten the league leaders. A team who in many ways are our closest rivals this season. For all those reasons and particularly because John Terry fell over this had to be the best match of the season.

Best player

Robin Van Persie – It was impossible not to give the best player to the first half of the season to RVP. He has been majestic so far this season and it is testament to him that some describe him as the best striker in world football at the moment. I just describe him as the best in world football period but that’s just me. His contribution goes way beyond just numbers but the numbers in themselves are pretty amazing. With 21 goals and 6 assists from just 25 games one can see his importance on the pitch but the manner in which he has picked up the captaincy has had equal effect on the team.

Honourable Mention

I was very tempted to name Szczesny the best player of the year and it is not because I am crazy. His importance to the team can not be underestimated. He is by far the best keeper at the club and in my opinion can be Arsenal’s number one for many years to come. He has been in fine form and even in our darkest hour he was the one stand out. He single headedly kept us in games when things weren’t going great, with saves in the early games against Swansea, Sunderland and of course the crucial penalty save against Udinese. Not only have the saves been fantastic so has his confidence (not arrogance) and his command of the area.