Monday 2 January 2012

Arsenal Season in Review so far


As we have arrived at the mid point of the season I thought we could do a little half time report of sorts, detailing the best and worst of the season so far.

Whilst we have had a start to the season which can only be described as awful, the return to form has ensured that we have finished the year only 9 points adrift of the league leaders and firmly in the top four. An amazing turn around and despite what the media would have you believe, it was not down to just one player.

So without further ado here is my season (so far) in review!

Dubious Honours

Most disappointing

Andrei Arshavin – In spite of an undeniable talent; one thing is abundantly clear. Arshavin has been utter dog shite this season. He has looked disinterested and is having trouble with the simplest of things such as controlling a ball, passing or even looking like he wants to be on the pitch. I suppose it was understandable at first that the boss put so much faith in him given the levels of class he has shown in the past. Of course a four goal haul at Anfield stands out in memory but it pales in comparison to the sustained and prolonged dip in form which we have seen from the little Meerkat. It may be time to rid ourselves of him but suppose January is never the best time to do business and I suspect that he has, in the short term at least a future at Arsenal Football Cub.

Most useless

Marouane Chamakh – This was a really tough one this year, we have had well below subpar performances from two players in particular but in my opinion Marouane Chamakh has been the most useless player to play in the league this year. He has never looked threatening and if anything has seemed a hindrance to our cause to score when introduced. If our other striker, Van Persie has had a year to remember, Chamakh has had anything but. He has been shocking all year and particularly this season. I know there is a number of reasons behind this but all this just clouds the obvious truth; he has been our most useless player.

Worst Haircut

This category was one of the toughest contested categories in the entire list. We have the outlandish blonde afro from Alex Song or the Mr T esque ensemble sported by Frimpong and never forget the cling on style haircut of our very own Gervinho but the prize for me is still has to go to Bacary Sagna. He chooses to have one of the strangest haircuts the world has ever seen and despite me loving him can’t help but cringe every time I see it. Nor do I want him to change it as it could well be the source of his power. God, I miss him.

Worst commitment

Andrei Arshavin hands down is the laziest cunt on a football pitch period. In spite of an undeniable talent; one thing is abundantly clear. Arshavin has been utter dog shite this season. He has looked disinterested and is having trouble with the simplest of things such as controlling a ball, passing or even looking like he wants to be on the pitch. I suppose it was understandable at first that the boss put so much faith in him given the levels of class he has shown in the past. Of course a four goal haul at Anfield stands out in memory but it pales in comparison to the sustained and prolonged dip in form which we have seen from the little Meerkat. It may be time to rid ourselves of him but suppose January is never the best time to do business and I suspect that he has, in the short term at least a future at Arsenal Football Cub.

Worst moment

Man United 8 – 2 Arsenal is one lowlight which sticks in my mind like no other. I was torn between that defeat and the one against Blackburn, both of which represent the worst our season has had to offer which made us all want to curl up in a corner and commit self harm. I shall just leave it at that and get on to the more cheerful stuff.

Honours

Best Defender

Thomas Vermaelan – This I think was one of the most fiercely contested areas of the pitch and surprisingly for the right reasons. Despite an awful defensive start to the season we have seen the meteoric rise of Laurent Koscienly, a solid Mertesacker, a hugely improved Santos and of course, this years winner, Thomas Vermaelan. His absence has only highlighted his importance to the team and he has been impeccable almost every time he has taken to the field.

Best midfielder

Mikel Arteta – Despite the initial pressure that was heaped onto Arteta to be the new Fabregas he has played a completely different role than many people expected him to play and much of our resurgence has been down to the discipline and solidity that Mikel Arteta has provided.  I salute his contribution and also Arsene Wenger for signing a player many doubted would be able to play at the highest level. He has grasped this opportunity so far and I hope he can continue in this form.

Best striker

Robin Van Persie – Well this was tough. With all our attacking options and the goal scoring form they are all in, it was very difficult for me to pick just one. But after much deliberation I had to go with Robin Van Persie. With 21 goals and 6 assists from just 25 games, superlatives are not enough. His importance is unparalleled and he must get a new contract at any costs. Robin we love you. Ahem, sorry may have just got a little carried away.

Most improved

Theo Walcott – I think there have been a few players who have improved but none more so than Walcott in my opinion, this could be in part to his utter shitness in the past though. He has forged a great understanding with Robin Van Persie and had his best run in the Arsenal team since joining the club. This has been reflected by his new found importance to the team and is now seen as the first choice in an attacking set up comprising of Gervinho, Robin Van Persie and Walcott.

Most commitment

Laurent Koscienly – Perhaps unlucky to miss out on most the GoonerVerse best defender award, Laurent Koscienly has been nothing short of sensational this season. He is always putting in 100% and then some and this has led to some stellar performances throughout the season. He has been adaptable and done whatever has been required of him throughout the season which has been a real pleasure to see. To be fair to the whole team, I would say that many players could be taking this award as after the darkest hours of the season it would be impossible to find ourselves back in the top four if the commitment throughout the squad was not top drawer.

Best moment

Chelsea 3-5 ArsenalThis result really marked a turn in Arsenal’s season. Though some have argued Chelsea’s subsequent form suggests that this may have not been the fantastic result it seemed at first, one thing is clear; John Terry fell down like the turd he is and ate grass. He was humiliated and so were Chelsea, a team that have just recently beaten the league leaders. A team who in many ways are our closest rivals this season. For all those reasons and particularly because John Terry fell over this had to be the best match of the season.

Best player

Robin Van Persie – It was impossible not to give the best player to the first half of the season to RVP. He has been majestic so far this season and it is testament to him that some describe him as the best striker in world football at the moment. I just describe him as the best in world football period but that’s just me. His contribution goes way beyond just numbers but the numbers in themselves are pretty amazing. With 21 goals and 6 assists from just 25 games one can see his importance on the pitch but the manner in which he has picked up the captaincy has had equal effect on the team.

Honourable Mention

I was very tempted to name Szczesny the best player of the year and it is not because I am crazy. His importance to the team can not be underestimated. He is by far the best keeper at the club and in my opinion can be Arsenal’s number one for many years to come. He has been in fine form and even in our darkest hour he was the one stand out. He single headedly kept us in games when things weren’t going great, with saves in the early games against Swansea, Sunderland and of course the crucial penalty save against Udinese. Not only have the saves been fantastic so has his confidence (not arrogance) and his command of the area.

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